I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We left the knife in your bed.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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