hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
