She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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