According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
