so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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