She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
