Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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