EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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