I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
