Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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