areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
