Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
