No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
