Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
