her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
