I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize