Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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