There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
