I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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