Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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