did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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