If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
