Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
