I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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