Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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