I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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