Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
