Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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