I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
