I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
