I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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