Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
