the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
