that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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