i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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