I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
