How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
