i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
me + whiskey = a bad person
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
