he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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