i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
