hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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