It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
