I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
