she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
