Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
