I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
