I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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