i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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