I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
from now on my penis is your penis
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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