i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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