I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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