i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
