he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
