I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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