Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im six kinds of drunk right now
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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