i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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