I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
