A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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