please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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