she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
