im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How naked do you want me to be?
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