dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
