Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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