I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
