Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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